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Specifically, Stuff that Happened in February 2008

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News From The Ambassador

I've been traveling all over the country, spreading the Trucktown word, and getting into my Ambassador job. One of the best parts of the job so far has been collecting great suggestions about what kind of Ambassador STUFF I should be getting.

Here is the list, so far:

cape
sash
laurel wreath/crown
bejewelled goblet
those little flags for my car
guards for my embassy
an Apache attack helicopter (my idea)
jetpack
Popemobile
jetpack-Popemobile
instant restaurant reservations anywhere, anytime
a fancy uniform
medals
epaulets
a Captain Crunch style admiral's hat (Dave Shannon's suggestion)
Secret Service Franking privileges (mine also)
lifetime diplomatic immunity, for anything (ditto)
a million dollars (surprisingly not mine, but very nice)
official seal
diplomatic pouch
rank above TSA officials
Ambassador underwear
championship wrestling style belt
require everyone to address me as "Your Excellency" or "Your Eminence"
a butt of Malmsey (traditional payment for England's Poet Laureate)
a red phone Ambassador Hotline

Keep those great suggestions coming.

Posted by on February 11, 2008

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